Break-free and be you!

PS: This one a bit lengthier than all other posts but I am sure by the end of it you would know why.

When was the last time you experienced freedom in its true sense? By freedom I don’t mean breaking the physical boundaries but letting go off any mental barriers that you carry. Mental strength enhances physical strength but what do you feed it to make it stronger?

In this mundane life we unknowingly get succumbed to the daily grind and forget to explore what’s within us. And when it keeps happening on a regular basis we eventually tend to lose interest in a lot of things,start carrying inhibitions and feel life has become a drag. And then it leaves you in situations where you want to express but can’t. How do I tell my boss I hate you? Or why can’t my parents understand? Why is it that I am not as settled as my friends? When you are in it, it feels very complex to deal with it because there is hardly any space in your brain to process and simplify things. And the worst part is you don’t even allow your mind to cool down on a periodic basis. You may think that no I do go for vacations and yes for get-togethers,family visits so how else do I rejuvenate?

Well, giving your mind that pause is not a quarterly or a yearly event but it needs regular servicing to bring out the best in you. So what do you do to set yourself free on a periodic basis? Well, for starters you can reserve 1 day in a week or a month at best to do things you really enjoy doing. It can be as simple as taking a walk in the park, having a day out with friends, or just watching a movie.You decide.What I mean is that pamper your mind and soul. Let your body release some happy hormones. 

I will share with you how I do it. Being a spontaneous personality I tend to get bored of things very easily and hence sustaining anything for very long requires huge self motivation. So I allow myself that free time at least twice a week. It is not necessarily alone but it’s all about not allowing any restrictions or compulsions on myself. For example, I have the responsibility to cook meals, take care of the house and do everything else to maintain the well being of my family with a full time job. But on a few days I just let myself loose and for sometime forget all the above mentioned things. Instead I tell my hubby to make me a cup of tea, water the plants, sleep till late in the morning or evening ;).It just relaxes me mentally for some time, gives me a feel good factor and I regain my energy for other things. Sounds regular right? The only difference is that I am conscious of it. You need to be aware when taking a break and consciously cut-off the oh so responsible thoughts. 

Yet another thing I do is make random plans every 2 months or so. I recently took a week long break and this time I did not even ask my husband. Just told him that we are leaving over the weekend and booked a resort to leave out any last minute flops. He added on by extending our stay (Sweet;) I ensured that neither of us carry any mental baggage and do whatever we felt like. I just let me be without worrying about how I look or what do I eat or who is looking at me. And I feel more rejuvenated than ever. It made me realize a lot of things not only about myself but also helped strengthen my bond with my partner. Vacations are a wonderful time to build relationships and that’s exactly what I did.

Having followed this for a while has made me very calm in my head, enhanced my ability to think rationally and most importantly, it has induced a sense of acceptance towards what I have.

It’s good to plan and stay organized but every once in a while, break the monotony that your mind feels and allow it to de-clutter. All said and done, however much you love things around you, nothing gives you more pleasure than pampering your inner self and who would know it best other than you? So go ahead and break-free…..for a while! Cheers!

Love

9 Ways to instantly perk up your mood!

Not having a good day? Is it because you fought with your partner, got a firing from your boss, not feeling well, something did not go as expected, missing your old self or whatever the reason is; dealing with a bad mood is taxing and can negatively influence your entire day or even days to follow.  

Below are 9 ways by which you can get that mind back in order-

   

1.    Eat: Well, it may sound a little naive but treating yourself or to binge on your favorite food would instantly lift up your bad mood. Science says (simply put) that having sinful foods which are high in carbohydrates releases acids which affect the mood lifting areas of your brain. So whenever you feel low, eat something you like. PS: I crave for things like chicken salad, ice-creams, chocolates or anything which I haven’t eaten in a while. 

2.    Dial a friend: A friend in need is a friend indeed! Call, Text, Chat and talk to your friend about your present state of mind. In case you fall under the category of people who sulk inside and don’t open up, this is the most efficient way to beat that freakishness of your mood. It’s an age old formula and I personally vouch for it. But be careful of who you talk to for speaking to the wrong person would worsen things. Seek someone who knows you well and really cares for you.

3.    Play your favorite music: Music for centuries has had a crucial role in human psychology. Grab those headphones if you are in public or if at home just put some great feet tapping music and sing along. Please! Please! Please! Do not play tracks that aid your already depressed state of mind. Music shall not give you any sympathy! So just sit back and play some good tracks. It will distract you and help you think clearly.

4.    Sleep: Yes, this works wonders. Taking a quick nap would calm your disturbed emotional state and more importantly it will kill time! The most difficult part in overcoming a bad mood is not being able to concentrate and the mental clock suddenly seems to stop ticking. However, you can easily do this at home but when at work or in public go to a quiet place, close your eyes and spend a few minutes alone. In any case it would prevent you from taking any impulsive action.

5.    Mirror! Mirror! On the wall: When angry, stand in front of the mirror and take out your frustration. You would trick your mind into talking to the relevant person who caused you the pain or turn the situation into a person and relieve you of your anxiety. It’s a quick and easiest method to relax yourself.

6.    Shopping: This may seem more relevant to women but yes shopping is an instant mood booster. Buying new things for yourself completely distracts you and boosts your morale.

7.    Pen it down: This is for those deep thinkers and introverts who find it difficult to be vocal about things. Grab a piece of paper and pour your thoughts on it. It would instantly clear out that haze in your mind and give you a go ahead for your next action.

8.    Set a timeline: This is a difficult one. But if you practice you will get better at it eventually. Give yourself a mental time frame of sulking over the ugly mood. Ask yourself, are there better things for me to do in life than sulking over this? If the answer is yes then stop complaining,try one of the above methods and you are good to go. If the answer is no, ask again and think deeper this time. Console yourself and do a self pep talk. Think of all those things you have achieved. It will give you the confidence and ability to deal with the situation heads on.

9.    Search for the cause: Last but not the least, having tried one of the above tricks, at the end of the day look for the real reason for you feeling low. Speak to the concerned person and explain what you felt. If it is because of your own action, be careful to not repeat it. 

Taking care of your emotions is your responsibility. Human beings tend to fall prey to negativity more easily than anything else. Blaming it on the world comes in very handy but acting upon it and taking charge to cure it is difficult. Being conscious and self aware of your feelings is a sure shot way to achieve more clarity of thought and leading a sorted life.

Love.

Wheel of Life

How many of you are striving to achieve the balance in your life you have always desired for? But have you ever thought deeply how to achieve it? I am sure you all desire for that perfect body, the ideal relationship, a great vacation and a huge bank balance. We read so many stories each day of people becoming successful and envy them (admit it!) and keep wondering how do these people make it? Is it money? Is it sacrifice or just luck?  One common thing is that they find happiness in what they do! Are you happy with what you do? If not, then why? What is stopping you?

Sit back and ponder, what will give me happiness?  Great job, a big salary or something else. As a matter of fact we are looking for happiness to come to us rather than making it come from within. Yes success is important, but who defines it for you? Only you.

Having seen this syndrome in a lot of people and undergoing a few trainings, I came across one model that suited my ideology of success. In order to search happiness within, you should be able to enjoy everything that truly means to you.

The question is how to identify what is truly important for me? Let me clarify this with a small exercise.

An average human being would broadly classify his life into 8 areas-

•       Health 
•     Finance
•     Relationships
•     Fun & Adventure
•     Self Up gradation
•     Hobbies
•     Social
•     Spirituality

Get a pen and a paper and make a chart for yourself resembling the picture

Now go back 5 years in time and think how you were performing in all these areas. Give scores to yourself out of 10. The center of the circle is 0 and end of each spoke 10. Now make an arch in each section depending on your scores.

Your chart should look something like this-

Now do this exercise again for your present. Shade the region you have marked to look like this-(Excuse me for poor drawing skills :D)

The shaded region is your “wheel of life”. Bumpy, isn’t it?

In order to achieve inner happiness, you should spend time in each of these areas. Set goals for your health. Take target to lose those pounds. Set a goal to earn or save X amount in a year. Think of a place you would want to take a vacation to with your loved ones to nurture relationships. Let that adventurist come out at least for sometime during the year. Learn. It may be as simple as learning to cook a new dish or reading or to play an instrument. Do something for the society. And last but not the least spend some time for building that connection with the Almighty. Phew!! It may sound like a lot of work right now but there is nothing better than seeing yourself achieve goals that you have set! You never know what might click during the course and enlightens you.

Make a nice pictorial chart and put it in a place you see it every day. It would trigger something in you. And even if you don’t achieve them, you would still be happy that somewhere you were conscious in finding what really matters to you! Don’t just sit back and wait for miracles to happen. Believe in action. Remember; only you have the remote control of your happiness, don’t let life control it. You own this life so take charge!

Questions?? Please mention in comments.

Love.

Beyond Love

Love is overrated. Thanks to all the Romcoms airing everyday somewhere and to our very own Bollywood for portraying this disillusioned emotion for centuries in the most picturesque way possible.  Marriage is a different story altogether. For people like me having grown up in a small town, idealizing a life post marriage with the very special one, staying in fantasy and experiencing a series of emotions every now and then is the most normal thing. But then, what about the clichés like happily ever after, happily married, fights make the love stronger and blah blah blah? The truth is, neither the clichés or the movies or your friend’s experience would tell you what love actually is. And what goes beyond. It is only you who will define the meaning of love for yourself and hey it’s perfectly alright. The reason why most people are unhappy (read deep down) with their current BFs/Husbands is not because he or she is not right for you. But maybe you got it wrong all this while. Whatever you have read or seen around you so far which made you believe in the concept of love was merely a compilation of individual experiences. Once you sign up for a relationship love stays just one aspect of it and not the whole of it.

Yes it is beautiful to have someone by your side, to hold hands when in public or otherwise, to see that one person wait for you when no one else does. But what does it take to find that person? Well the person doesn’t exist anywhere. You have to strive to make that person into the one. And yes, it may take a lifetime for you!

Beyond Love is a place where there is compromise, grief, confusion and everything else. A place you tend to go eventually where it’s all about the other person in your life. You tend to lose yourself and give everything you have, to that special person. And this is not just once. A place you keep visiting every now and then. Nobody tells you about it but everybody has it. You are the only one who can carve it out for yourself like I did. It aids you in dealing with life and its emotions headstrong.

Amidst the social, your soul

Ever found yourself wondering why you are more anxious than before, feel some unknown pressure or that you are a part of a never ending race?

Leave aside the profession, as an individual there is a constant urge to want what the other has. Remember the time in school when after the summer break we would really wait for school to reopen so we could flaunt our newly bought stationery, bags and water bottles to the extent as to whose name sticker is cooler than whose. The concept still is the same even now that we are adults. The only difference being this yearly feeling is now routine and overpowering our lives with updating the latest. It’s not wrong but how much is right, is the catch. Even if you deny it does affect you at subconscious level. Travel pictures, Food pictures, adventure pictures, people having babies, getting married, new job, new business etc etc etc.

I am sure you have seen jokes floating around of people concentrating more to get just the right click of the platter of food they have just been served than the dish itself. The better the click, followed by the likes, the tastier the food feels. I find myself sometimes in annoying situations when I can’t have what my “social media” friends have or seem to have. It affects to a level where I am dissatisfied with almost everything I have. Then this periodic realization sets in that it is only the virtual world and I don’t know what the “real” story is and that makes me less dissatisfied. Then there are times when I am happy copying things what others seem to portray as fun and living life to the fullest activities. It really is a game.

And if you are the kind of person who can quickly get influenced then I say welcome to the gang! Let almighty help us! I agree that this society that we are living in now has certain factors which are unavoidable with social media presence topping the list and you have to be a part of it to stay relevant.

This article was just to make you ponder over your thoughts. What occupies the maximum space in your mind? Are you on the right page? May be take some time off from the virtual world and enjoy the real things. Amidst the social self get off for your soul health. And then re-check your anxiety levels. May be you will get a good news!! 

Love

Hustle Hassle

 I was just speaking to a friend of mine the other day, a young mother of a 2 year old. It is amazing to see how your own friends from school you have grown up with, transform so beautifully from being pampered daughters to responsible daughter-in-laws and then caring and gentle mothers.

A child does bring in a lot of joy in the family and makes the parents bond stronger than ever. But meanwhile the “parenting”, “wifeing” and “daughter in-law-ing”, there goes a lot of a woman into keeping up to each role. Sleepless nights, losing track of time, feeding the baby, taking care of the house it all happens simultaneously. Seeing a lot of them around I can really recollect my mother running around the house like a superhuman managing everything under the sun to offer the best to her family. It is amazing how women inherit this quality and mold themselves only to give selflessly.

While many of them do it unconditionally and are satisfied with the way their lives take shape,there are times with each one of them when they just want to feel liberated from the daily hustle hassle. I am sure all the lovely women reading this have compromised on their dreams, hobbies even specific food habits just to manage and fit in better. This post is dedicated to all those ladies who pour their heart and soul to nurture their families.

Though I am not a mother yet but just juggling between work and home leaves me exhausted with no time to myself. 

It’s a constant fight within them whether to think of everything or just themselves for a change. And when they actually do there is a tendency to feel guilty. Come on you ladies, as human beings you can only give better if you feel better and there is no harm in indulging in some “me” time once in a while. As women it’s normal to feel lonely even when you are surrounded with people who love you while handling everything from a brush, baby, better half, brunch and bed. But it would be magical to keep that little spark of being self alive. I have started writing to express and steal a few minutes every day just for myself. What would you do? 

Would love to see your answers. Let's inspire.

Love

What's your more?

Ever heard yourself saying Oh I wish I had this car or Oh why can’t I be so slim, I wish I had more money etc. etc. Human tendency is always craving for more than it already has and with so many options to pick from, this lust for more is ever growing. Sometimes, I feel our parents’ generation or the generation before that was much happier. Contended with their lives and available resources they had much more to gain from life. And hence their lives were less complicated.

All of us have more to desire from everything- job, health, social status, relationships, income, love and the list goes on. According to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs a person in his life ascends from satisfying his physiological needs to self actualization needs. Thinking deeper, it may also mean that to satisfy a higher order need you are invariably saying I don’t want more of the lower order ones or getting more or less of that won’t have any significant impact.

Well theory per say it may sound obvious but does it actually happen that way? You would never find a person saying I don’t want more money or I don’t want good health or a better social status. Now that you are reading this, just pause for 5 minutes and ask yourself, “What’s my more?”

Feeling Puzzled? Don’t worry. When I asked this to myself, it struck; oh jeez I am not really running after wanting for more but focusing more on being better than someone else. A better spouse than my friends’, wanting a better house than my colleagues’/friends’ or a better paying job. It is not wrong to want more but this shift in mindset would give you more (Happiness) because there would always be someone who has ‘more’ than what you have. So get more for yourself, rather than more than someone or something else. And keep asking, “What’s my more?”